Incongruity Continued (a bit incongruously)

After walking the dogs (again) and the sun hadn’t come up yet, I entered the office and Bagman and Butler were already there. Bagman was sitting the easy chair covered with a pile of three cameras, two telephoto lenses, a tripod and a pile of brochures about the 10 hottest nude beaches in the world. Butler looked up from the computer where he had been googling congruity…say that five times fast. “Find out anything?” I asked.

BUTLER: “Not even any interesting Latin derivations. Lots of stuff about congruent triangles and polygons.

Bagman has begun tapping his large meaty fingers heavily on the small mahogany table next to the chair.

BUTLER: “Oh! But here’s a quotation from Alfred North Whitehead: ‘I have suffered a great deal from writers who have quoted this or that sentence of mine either out of its context or in juxtaposition to some incongruous matter which quite distorted my meaning, or destroyed it altogether.’”

BAGMAN: “Like you’re doing right now.”

BUTLER (unfazed as usual): And Yahudi Menuhin: “Music creates order out of chaos: for rhythm imposes unanimity upon the divergent, melody imposes continuity upon the disjointed, and harmony imposes compatibility upon the incongruous.’”

BAGMAN: “Yahoo Yahudi…Can we just shut up and go take pictures?”

BUTLER: “Oh! That reminds me! The Menuhin quote! You had a question from GingerV in a comment on yesterday’s blog. She wanted to know more about your statement that as soon as you take a picture the composition of the photograph turns the incongruity of the subject into harmony. She writes: ‘I think I need to talk with you to know what this means - you are way ahead of me.’”

BAGMAN: “Ahead of her!! She thinks you’re ahead of her!! Maybe in the bullshit category!”

I’m beginning to feel uncomfortable and insulted but hold my tongue while Butler comes to my rescue.

BUTLER: “You should have more respect for our employer, Baggie.”

BAGMAN: “Employer? You really are a butt, Butt! Without us, he’d spend the whole day watching reruns of MASH.

BUTLER: “But he and Yahudi do have a point about the human mind, the subconscious ability to see or hear order in chaos. Jackson Pollack, for instance.”

BAGMAN: “Timothy Leary, for instance! A good dose of LSD and I could see the Universe in a dustball!”

BUTLER (finally losing it): “You dumb lusty sot! You’d see MISS Universe in a dustball with or without LSD!”

The sun hasn’t even come up yet and I’ve already given up on the day. Head down, I shuffle toward the exit to see if there are any reruns of MASH on cable.

Bagman starts to rise in anger but then suddenly has an intuition and slumps back in his chair totally defeated.

BAGMAN: “Oh, damn. I get it. We’re just gonna talk this thing to death and we’re not going to take any pictures at all, are we?”

Butler is ignoring him now and is back on the computer googling Yahudi. Another word pairing that is fun to say five times fast.