Dear Barry,

Dear Barry,

Today is Veteran's Day.  In South Carolina, county offices have the day off but schools do not.  So I kissed my wife goodbye and came up to spend some rare relaxed time on Blogger.

Yesterday was different.  I was rushed.  I only had time to look five or six posts.  Yours, of course, was one of them...the first one I always check.  And you had written about putting your affairs in order.   I stopped there and never looked at anything else.  I wanted to leave a comment, but couldn't.  Then I was going to email you.  But couldn't.  Last night, trying to sleep, I thought about you and Linda and Lindsey.  This morning I turned on the computer, went to Blogspot, and just stared at the screen.

Finally, I decided that I had to write something.  And I hope that an open letter to you is not too embarassing but, I think, probably not.  One of the things I admire and honor in you is your amazing ability to journal so openly about your cancer.  Your ability to both fight a strong fight while simultaneously accepting and preparing for losing it.  And for finding joy in life, along the way, and sharing those moments with us as well. 

I'm struggling this morning to tell you what I feel without sounding stupid or maudlin or just plain weird.  One of the things I want to say is, "I love you."  And Linda and Lindsey.  It's a bit odd because when Bagman, Butler, and I first started blogging last year, Bagman was really enjoying flirting with the women.  In fact, he was kind of shocked when he discovered that some old guy from Scarborough was following us.  But over the months, I have grown to feel very close to you.  In fact, last month, I even mentioned to Karen, "Why don't we drop everything and take a month and drive up to Canada."  But with a new grandson and another on the way, we have affairs of our own to keep in order. 

The other thing I want to say to you is really problemmatic.  Because the timing is wrong.  But, then again, it will never be right.  I want to say, "Goodbye."  

I hope that you, or anyone else who reads this, doesn't interpret that as negative or fatalistic or depressing.  It's a kind of putting affairs in order for me.  Over the years, I have lost many friends and family.  Three years ago when my mother-in-law passed, it was sobering to realize that I was now at the head of the queue.  A few I was blessed to be able to be with.  Too often, however, it was unexpected and I was left with things I wish I had said.  Like "I love you" and "Fare well." 

So I hope it is not terrible form to say goodbye to you this morning, even though I fully expect to continue reading your adeventures for at least the two years the doctors have given you on the high side.  And none of us ever really know.  Today might even be my time.  I assume not.  God!  Wouldn't it be aweful I dropped dead at the end of this sentence and you never got to read it!  I can imagine the scene:

First Paramedic:  "He's trying to say something."

Mark:  "Push the Publish Post button."

Second Paramedic:  "He must be delerious."
First Paramedic:  "Clear!"

Anyhow, when I kissed Karen this morning as she was heading off to work, I held her a little longer than usual.  Because of you, my friend. 

I will never forget you.  Whenever it does come my time to leave the front of the line and get on the ride, I know I will be thinking of you and what you have taught me.  Courage, sympathy for others, awareness, dignity, humor.  

Of course, what I really need to learn is to shut up and write shorter blogs.

I love you, Barry.  Goodbye.

Mark

PS:  See you tomorrow.

   

Friday Hometown Shootouts -- Skylines

I started to feel geographical inadequacy about this week's theme since Charleston is about as flat as they come!  But then I saw the theme was chosen by Kate from Kansas.  So I guess I have to "rise" to the challenge.   South Carolina can't be that much flatter than Kansas, can it?

And this week, God did help me by putting a nice sky behind a flat row of trees. 

But that shot would really be more appropriate for "Sunsets" which we've already done. 

However!  I am really really grateful because the skyline theme gave me a learning experience!  I wanted to capture the entire skyline of Charleston, flat as it is, which required shooting about 10 shots and then merging them in Photoshop into a panorama.  I struggled for hours trying to cut and paste and match and adjust tones...AAAGH!  So, facing failure, I put it aside and pulled out some old skylines from long ago and far away -- cheating as usual.  (Except there is no such thing as cheating in the shootout...I think.)

Boston, 1971

New York, 1971

New York again, 1971 - I think

One of these, I had dated 1985 and the other 1971 but they were clearly taken on the sameday...Who knows.  (For that matter, who cares?)

Dallas, 1980 (Why am I stuck on dates?)

Salt Lake City, 1847

I didn't shoot this, of course, in 1847 - and the statue wasn't there then either.  But I was working and living parttime, helping set up an alcohol treatment hospital there awhile back.  I was an obsessive runner then and used to run up in the hills above the city.   The statue is the "This is the place" monument on the pass in the Wasatch Mountain Range where Brigham Young leading the beleaguered Mormans who had survived the trek from Missouri first saw a fertile valley and decided to settle it.   I learned alot while living parttime out there.  But enough digressing...

England, 1997

But I still wanted to keep up with the spirit of "Hometown" in Hometown shootout.  So I went back and played some more with Photoshop.  No matter what I did, I kept having lines between the shots that made the "Panorama" look like a stamp collection.  Finally I did what I truly hate to do and picked up "Photoshop for Dummies," and discovered there was a "Panorama" function.  One push of a button. 

And fifteen minutes of computer processing...watching the little green bar scroll over and over again and wondering if the computer had seized up...and ending up with a picture that was something like 58 megapixels!  The computer case actually bulged out on the sides it's memory was gorged.  But I downsized it enough to post...although I doubt you can see anything at all and if you blow it up I think it will fuzz up.  But this is my first shot at Charleston's skyline.  (Maybe my last...who knows).

Altough you probably can't see them, there are several church steeples that used to be the tallest things before the shipyard cranes were built.  Charleston had the knickname "Holy City" because it was open to many denominations and had lots of chuch steeples.  At the time is was also South Carolina's State Capitol.  But during the Civil War  (or the War of Northern Agression as the natives call it) the Capitol was moved to Columbia.  But I'm not sure Charlestonians ever really believed the capitol should stay there.  We tend to think of ourselves as rather special and precious.  So now, folks in the rest of the state often say things like, "How are things in the Holy City?"  And there is often a little muted sarcasm...holy city...and probably somewhat deserved sarcasm. 

I was going to talk about pluff mud too.  Not that it has anything to do with skylines -- except that it is one of the reasons we stay flat.  Skyscrapers would probably sink.  But that's for another day when  I talk about the submarine that got stuck in the pluff mud.