I feel like kind of like Punxsutawny Phil, climbing out of a hole and blinking to see if I have a shadow.
The theme for tomorrow's Friday Hometown Shootout is "Things I like to touch." I've been really out of touch lately, rolled up into a tight little defensive ball like a punxsutawny hedgehog.
BUTLER: "Punxsutawny Phil isn't a hedgehog. He's a groundhog."
I almost jump at the sound of his voice. "Butler? Is that you? Where have you been?"
BUTLER: "Just sitting here, keeping the coffee warm and watching you curled like a fetus in your little feeling sorry for yourself world."
Like I need Butler's little critical remarks. I go back to pondering tomorrow's shootout. Like I have time to do anything about it. It's already Thursday. Like people on the other side of the world where it is Thursday night are already posting. And why am I starting every sentence with the world "like"?
Things I like to touch? What kind of a stupid theme is that? Who on earth suggested that dumb, nonphotogenic topic?
BAGMAN: "I did, of course!"
"Bagman! Like what are you doing here?"
BAGMAN: "Getting ready to kick you in the butt if you start another sentence with "like!"
I groan. I have a headache. Did Bagman, Butler, and I really suggest that topic? I half remember Ginger writing me earlier in the week to ask if I would say something about it on the Shootout Page. I remember politely refusing because I was too busy or something. Then, for the last three days, wrestling with myself over whether I could really avoid participating in a shootout topic that I had suggested.
I stretch my mind to get in touch with who I was when Bagman suggested that topic. Like I must have been feeling particularly bawdy.
WHAM! Bagman's foot to my posterior sends me halfway across the room.
I turn to glare at him but Butler stands between us and thrusts a camera into my hands. Okay, okay. I get it. Well it won't be much. And it won't be bawdy. And I really just want to go back to sleep. I look at the camera and then up to Butler standing over me and say, "How do you work this thing anyhow?"
BUTLER: "You're really getting to be a pain in the ass these days."
Angrily, I snap back, "Like I really give a...."