Boggers Found Alive in Facebook

CYBERSPACE -- An eruption of cheers greeted rescuers last night when they returned from Facebook with three bloggers who had been lost under an avalanche of Friend Requests for over 48 hours. 

Mark Cowell, Bagman, and Butler were carried out looking haggard and weak but waving and giving "thumbs up" signs to the crowds of reporters that had converged on the scene. 

Asked by reporters about his harrowing ordeal, Cowell reported that it had been a close call.

"It's been over two years since I had a Facebook account,"  said Cowell, "and I was no longer prepared to have so many friends.  I only went in because I wanted a better way of communicating with a couple of family members and suddenly friends that I could hardly remember were dropping on us until we couldn't see two feet ahead of us."

"It was great!  It was awesome!! I want to do it again," said Bagman, who had to be restrained from running back into the danger zone.

Butler, the third companion on the ill-fated exploration, seemed unphased, although his bow tie was slightly askew.  He noted that biggest problem was they had had to answer all the requests and write polite notes even if they didn't know everyone.   "It is poor etiquette not to reply to everyone."

Cowell thanked rescuers for pulling them out and confirmed that he had learned his lesson although he planned to leave his Facebook account in place. 

The three bloggers were then taken to an undisclosed site where the humanitarian group, Save Our Faces, planned to spend a week deprogramming them.

Blogger Feared Buried Under Friends

CYBERSPACE -- First responders on the scene reported they were hopeful that a trio of extreme bloggers would be found alive after being buried by an avalanche of Facebook Friends over the weekend.  Mark Cowell and two companions known only as Bagman and Butler apparently ventured into Facebook and were trapped by the Friend Requests that are common in this part of the world.

People who knew Cowell said that they were surprised that he and his companions were caught off guard so easily.   "These weren't amateurs," said a reliable source close to Cowell who chose to remain anonymous.  "They were experienced bloggers and had even explored Facebook in the past.  They should have been prepared for this." 

Facebook, a popular social networking site, is well known for uncontolled, over-friendliness conditions. 

Norton Spamalotti, head of  "Save Our Faces," an international volunteer group dedicated to helping de-program Facebook Addicts, said that people are often buried by Friend Requests because they no longer remember most of the people requesting friendship but confirm them anyway because they feel guilty about denying someone they assume they should remember. 

"We think that's what happened here," reported Spamalotti.  "The last people who talked with Cowell and his companions before their disappearance said that Cowell had primarily decided to set up another Facebook account to keep in touch with his children since younger people sometimes have no other way of communicating."

"He forgot that there is a huge, unstable crust of baby boomers that often collapse in friendliness.  These Friend Request Avalanches also build quickly because Facebook automatically suggests new friends."

Facebook was unavailable for comment.

Latest reports from rescuers noted that Cowell's Facebook page was very sparse and that he had not filled in all the personal information fields.  "This is a good sign that we may still find him and his companions intact.  Odds of recovering people drop dramatically once their page becomes really active."

The primary task will be to find and extract the victims, returning them to Blogspot before any permanent damage has been done.  Stay tuned for further developments.