Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Butler and Bagman debate Santa Clause

So I've got a half hour, maybe forty five minutes, to check in on the boys before rushing off to work this morning.  I pop my head in the door -- an odd image if you really think about it -- and see them pouring over my photographs.  

BAGMAN (without bothering to look up) "Decided to grace us with your presence?"

BUTLER (smiling) "What was that sickening popping sound you made just before you came in?"  

BAGMAN: "Just ignore him.  He's been too busy painting walls and other domestic crap in the real world out there, leaving us to do the work on Friday's shoot.  What was the topic again?"

BUTLER: "It's part of the Christmas theme series.  Weather."

BAGMAN: "WEATHER!!  Since when is that a Christmas theme?!!  On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, a Brookstone A-ne-mom-e-ter.."

BUTLER:  "Weather is critical to Christmas.  Santa Clause needs to know absolutely all the upper-air wind currents around the world, the exact degree and location of thunderstorms...everything.  He has the most advanced weather station in the world.  Just think what would happen if he miscalculated and hit a head-wind coming across the Atlantic.  Millions of kids would be disappointed and he'd be exhausted trying to deliver presents during the Day After Christmas Sales, sneaking around in broad daylight!

BAGMAN (a dumbfounded look on his face):  "You mean you believe in Santa too?"

BUTLER:  "Of course not!  But I enjoy the analysis of probabilities if he actually did exist.  (pause)  What do you mean 'too'?  Don't tell me the wild and wooly Bagman actually believes in Santa Clause!"

BAGMAN: "Of course I do!  He's bearded like me.  He's fat so he must love eating!  He only works one day a year.  And he's always surrounded by Victoria's Secret fashion models."

BUTLER:  "Elves, you idiot!"

BAGMAN: "You mean to tell me you believe in elves?"

BUTLER: "Well...no.  Of course not. But..."

BAGMAN: "Do you believe in Victoria's Sectret fashion models?"

BUTLER: "Well..."

BAGMAN: "My point exactly.  Santa's my hero.  Better than Hugh Hefner because he never ages."

BUTLER (shaking his head in disgust and also because he can't think of a rejoiner)  "Okay, let's get back to work.  Mark doesn't seem to have many pictures of weather so we have to work hard."

BAGMAN:  "What's weather anyhow?  How to you take a picture of weather?  Come to think of it, I'm not sure I actually believe in weather."

At this point, realizing that, once again, Blogspot has made me late for work, I race out the door to face the real world, wondering, oddly, whether I believe in the real world. 

13 comments:

  1. Hahaha!
    yeah, why is it that the 'weather' and even 'favorite things' have been labeled 'Christmas' themes? Just because they fall in December? What about us sick-of-the-hype non-christians?

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  2. Well B&B I am going to be doing something on weather too and it is nothing but cold and cloudy here. Goona have to put our wizard hats on and stir up something.
    QMM

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  3. PS, I could post about my favorite weather man.
    QMM

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  4. guess I'd better post a Townblogger note about why I thought weather was a good Christmas theme.... now I feel bad will have to go eat two pieces of chocolate... isn't the friday shoot about our towns, arn't are towns all over the world. don't the southern and northern / eastern and western hemispheres have differnt weather for Christmas.... so why does Santa Clause ride in a snow sled... this is just so Northern.

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  5. It must be "weather" blogging coming up on Friday, because people are complaining. And what do they always complain about? Weather, or a lack of it. People also complain about being kept late for work and religious stuff. (unless you are religious, then you complain about science stuff!). So I say, stop complaining and let's see your highs and lows!=D

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  6. Oh the weather outside is frightful,
    But the fire is so delightful,
    And since we've no place to go,
    Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!

    It doesn't show signs of Pauseping,
    And I've bought some corn for popping,
    The lights are turned way down low,
    Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!

    When we finally kiss goodnight,
    How I'll hate going out in the storm!
    But if you'll really hold me tight,
    All the way home I'll be warm.

    The fire is slowly dying,
    And, my dear, we're still good-bying,
    But as long as you love me so,
    Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!

    Let It Snow – is this a christmas carol.

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  7. Ahhhhh, BB, it is HOT here and the beach beckons.....unfortunately so does the office :(

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  8. One must be aware of weather at all times. First lesson, I guess. Looks like we all have to talk about the chilly days ahead.

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  9. I'm struggling with the weather thing. Thanks to you Butler, I now get why it's a Christmas theme. Makes perfect sense!

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  10. You first poster commenter must be a friend of Bagman!! His/her links are certainly hotter than the weather we are having here. Let it rain, let it rain...hate the rain.

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  11. They choose one of those words I found myself in school struggling to spell, like ailes, and isles...what the heck did that have to do with this post...why do we have so many words anyway...there you go again thinking too/to much! Touche!

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  12. Christmas? Bah Humbug. Same for the weather. On the other hand, I love Santa Baby.

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