Friday, January 28, 2011

Friday Hometown Shootout - "F"

Finding time...getting up early to put a blog not as easy as it was now that we are fulltime grandparenting with a two year old and a 7 month old getting up even earlier!  Maybe I'll have more time in retirement.  41 business days.  But who's counting.

And I've been wanting to blog and journal about heading into retirement -- fears, excitement, doubts, hopes --it's a big deal.  Bigger, of course, because I'm determined to analyze it to death.  Maybe I shouldn't have used the word "death".  Although I expect that to be a pretty exciting adventure as well although it will be frustrating not to blog about it. 

But I'm really tired and just planned to use some old shots for the theme this week.  Some are even fuzzy stills from an old videocamera.  "I've sunk to this," I mutter.

"I haven't shot anything new for weeks," I complain sourly, entering the Bagman and Butler studio...

BAGMAN (Leaping at me from the couch, screaming in glee) "F!!! We finally get to do F!!  We can fill the whole thing with one "F" word and that word is..."

CRASH!  BANG!  THUD!   Bagman blinks and gets a vacant stare as Butler crashes the printer over his head. 

BUTLER:  "We're not using your F-word in any Friday Shootout as long as I'm around!"

BAGMAN (now on his knees with little stars circling his head):  "Why?"

BUTLER: "Because I look at the blogs of most of the people who follow us and they are a much classier and more proper group of people."

BAGMAN: "You mean they've never heard of F...."  

KAPOWEEE!  The spare monitor shatters over Bagman who now goes down to the floor.

BUTLER:  "Get the duct tape!"

I don't usually like to muzzle Bagman but maybe I should in this instance.  Butler and I wrap the inert Bagman in duct tape until he looks like a shiney gray mummy.   

BAGMAN:  "Mfffmmfff Mfffphumm."

I find myself starting to drift off to sleep so I take a deep breath and load pictures.

"F" is for:

Fire (Camping with Brian)

(Charleston's Civil War Re-enactors)

More Firearms

BAGMAN (Squirming on the floor like a silver-gray worm): "Mmmmffff!!  Mummmmfff!"  Which I interpret as "How can you deny the appropriateness of my F interpretation and fill your blog with violence!  Make love not war!"

He's right.  I'll try to get more uplifting.  F stands for:

(Blue Angels came to Charleston last year)

Flying Upside Down

BAGMAN:  "Mrrmmmrrr.  Murmf."  Which I interpret to mean, "Entertainment to you, celebrating military bullies to the rest of the world!"

So I'll try something more celebratory of life.  F is for:

(I didn't actually take this picture, of course)

BAGMAN (Vibrating on the floor with fury like some silver gray cucoon):  "Maahhh!"  Which I interpret to mean, "How can you deny me my fun and show this?!  How do you think it got in there in the first place!!"

Deciding that I can't win, I just load more pictures as fast as I can so I can go back to bed!

F is for:



First Degree Black Belt
(Five years later, I can't remember how to tie it let alone how to break boards)

Fu the Fast Car

Feeding Birds

BAGMAN (Now motionless): "Zzzzzzzzzzzzz."

Hearing him snore reminds me that I might be able to get another hour of sleep before the alarm goes off.  I ask Butler to untape him after he hits the send button and I head back down the hallway to our bedroom.  Just as my head sinks into the pillow I hear Noah starting to cry for a morning bottle and Conner is climbing into our bed with a DVD he wants to watch. 


  1. That was F-ing good, as usual.

  2. Frumious!
    Have a frabjous -41st day!

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  4. oh man, you have my sympathy on the sleep front!!! and i had to censor my husband who must have been in cahoots with bagman...alas, i chickened out and my grasshoppers fornicating did not make the cut. now i'm feeling like a wuss...

  5. lol great 'classy' post. My favorite F picture would have to be a toss up between the flying upside down and feeding the birds

  6. I always love your blog. My favorite is the fetus this time. All of them are great though!

  7. What's wrong with using "Friday My Town Shootout" as your F-word?

  8. Whew, sounds like you just barely managed to contain yourself---err I mean Bagman--and kept this a g-rated post. I was worried there for a moment! But not disappointed.
    Great f-shots.

  9. I like the last photo the most,
    Bagman is wrong the fetus is a great F photo.
    and why haven't you taken any photos lately - I know gobs of interesting things are happening in your own front room. wonder why this topic was for Jan.... - First Friday in February would have been a good reason for it....
    did I miss something (again!)

  10. took me forever to see you F in the Foto header.... dah!

  11. Love the bondage and Bagman! What a clever sense of humor you have! I LOVE it! ;-)

  12. Nope, retirement anticipation doesn't work. Now you have to fit exercise in, meetings, kids, all those projects....which you will start, kids, eating less, reading more, kids, and blogging.

    I must tell you, retirement is never quite what you anticipate. Me? I love it.

  13. Did I mention doctor's appointments.

  14. I've got the solution: Filibuster him into a coma.

  15. I won't let my son read your post, not because of the F word, but he went up to the last brown belt and he stopped because it was no longer fun. I nag and nag but to no avail. I thought he could get a part time job with the security company when he was at university.

  16. Love all your collection of photos! My favorite is the fourth one, the four aircraft.

  17. wow i actually like firearms though i'm afraid to see them closer. flight is as well great but my favorite is feeding the birds shot. you always have interesting narration :)

  18. FOOLISHNESS! Fun bunch of F's! I can't wait to see The Bagman's Collections next week! Please let him show his DuctTape Sculptures!

  19. Fun! Your posts are always fun! Love the beach shot at the end. Flying Flock of Feathered Friends.

  20. Love the fighter jets. Great post, as usual, Mark.

    Everyone's retirement is different. Like Maggie, I love it.

  21. Entertaining as always. And they may be old photos but they are goodies.

  22. I chickened out on the fetus foto. Turns out the new arrival looks nothing like that anyway - and thank heavens for that!
    Love the fire shot!
    And, as always, appreciate the foolishness!

  23. busy busy Grandpa! the kiddos will keep you running for sure. love the blue angels shots and the last one. fantastic post!!

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