I got an email the other day about my "new blog header" and my first reaction was to utter obscenities. Unfortunately, I've been doing that more in recent months although I am pretty successful at not doing it in the vicinity of grandchildren. Or other adults for that matter.
I went down to the B&B Studio and found Butler and Bagman smiling broadly with their idea for a new blog about "Days With Diggy."
"Who authorized this?" I demanded. "Take it down!"
BAGMAN (Whining): "Aw, Boss! We hoped you'd like it."
BUTLER (Lecturing): "You really need to stop fighting everything and get out more."
"Maybe," I admit. "I know that I've been a little grumpy lately..."
BAGMAN: "Grumpy? Grumpy?!? You're the poster child for Prozac! Everybody's scared of you!"
"Not the kids," I protest.
BUTLER: "You are correct there. You still have the ability to adjust your attitude and although you are grumpy around everyone else, when the kids show up, it is amazing how fast you turn into the Diggy that they know and love."
BAGMAN: "Yeah! Like yesterday when you were angry and frustrated because you thought you were going to have a free day and Noah got sick and then you had to watch both him and Kay and when they showed up you suddenly turned into Diggy again and took every pillow in the house and piled them on Noah's sick bed and turned it into a pillow house."
I take a deep breath. Actually it is more like a sigh. Maybe more like a resigned gutteral whiny exhalation of breath. "Yeah, well. They do smash easily through the walls of my frustration. But I'm still not ready for an entire 'Days with Diggy' blog."
BAGMAN: "Before this, you weren't blogging at all!"
"I'm just tired most of the time. And there's hardly an hour or two free. If I start something, I can't finish it."
BUTLER: "Excuse me for trying to pry you off your pity pot but you have all day today. The whole day! Nobody in the house except for you..."
I glance down at my ToDo list and reply, "...and the cat which needs to be fed and litter changed, and the dog who needs to be walked. Then I need to go to the bank, the library, the grocery store, and the mall for Christmas presents. And the bills that need to be paid. The broken bureau that needs sto be fixed."
BAGMAN: "Blah blah blah! You're no fun to have around anymore,"
BUTLER: "You have to admit, Mark, that your attitude, to quote Bagman, sucks."
"Which is exactly why I don't blog alot and why you need to take down that ridiculous header." I look at the crestfallen faces of Bagman and Butler and soften a bit. "Okay, maybe I'll try to blog occasionly if I get in a better mood. But erase it for now, okay?"
I leave the B&B studio to take care of the animals and hear Butler erasing the header. Butler, of course, just runs his fingernails down the blackboard to get back at me.