Days with Diggy

BUTLER (stepping up to the podium which has been rented for the occasion and temporarily placed in the Butler and Bagman Studio):  "It gives me great pleasure today to announce that...OW!!  Ouch!! What did you do that for?!!"

BAGMAN: "Liar!  Liar!  Pants on fire!  There's no pleasure in this!"

BUTLER:  "Of course there is!  We should have been doing this all along!  We spend so much time with the grandkids, we should be focusing the post on them instead of trying to be so clever and macho all the time."

BAGMAN:  "You bleeping wimp!  Can't you see what Mark is doing?!  This is his first step to sending us to the nursing home!   Everytime we start to write a great novel or post a world-class photograph, the door opens and the grandchildren show up and we spend the day watching Barney and E.T.   We haven't even posted a single blog since October!   Our brain is turning to mush and this is your idea of survival?!"

BUTLER:  "As the Bishop of Geneva, Saint Francis de Sales (1567-1622) once said, 'Bloom where you are planted'."

BAGMAN:  "You made that up!"

BUTLER: "And Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young - 'If you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with...'."

BAGMAN:  "Ah, yes.  I remember the Newport Folk Festival, 1970.  They were singing that and I looked over at this cute chick sitting next to me and smiled."

BUTLER: "And she moved to another seat.   Just roll with it."

BAGMAN: "I still think this is a mistake.  You are still going to be too busy changing diapers to have any time to blog and it will be another two months before you have time to write some cutsy story about the grandkids."

BUTLER: "Well if you ever bothered to help out changing diapers..."

BAGMAN:  "I've got better things to do.   And nobody wants to hear cutsy stories about grandchildren anyhow."

BUTLER: "Well Mark wants to try it anyhow."

BAGMAN: "Then where the hell is he anyhow?!"

BUTLER:  "Sleeping, of course.  Noah had a fever last night and he was up most of the night."

BAGMAN:  "So Noah had a fever.  Well that's real cute story.  A real bundle of laughs.  You got a picture to go with it?"

BUTLER: "You're just a terminal cynic.  How about yesterday was Conner was trying to teach Noah to ride a bike and...what was that?"

BAGMAN:  "Kay is waking up and crying.  Probably needs a diaper change.  See.  This new blog idea is never going anywhere.   Just because you're going to try and bloom with the one you're with doesn't mean you're going to have any more free time."

Grumbling, Butler leaves the B&B Studio, and stumbles down the hallway to Kay's room.   Bagman kicks the podium, his uncut toenails leaving a large scratch.  The podium rental company will probably keep the deposit, Bagman thinks.  He listens to Mark's loud snoring from downstairs then turns out the light.   "I'll bet we don't post for another two months," he says to himself.