Thursday, May 28, 2009

Hometown Shootout - Water (A Dozen Uses)

WATER! WATER! A DOZEN OF THE MOST POPULAR THINGS WE DO WITH WATER!
Charleston, SC is in a part of the state called the Lowcountry. In some ways, a photographer's nightmare because it is endlessly flat and I do miss mountains. But there is water everywhere.
and we do almost everything with water.

And so, without further ado...


...Let's dive right in!


FIRST OF ALL, REMEMBER THAT OIL AND WATER DON'T MIX


But Bagman says: "If it rains on blacktop, oil and water dance together very sensually.

Sounds like something he would say. So let's try to move this blog along and list the twelve most popular things we do with water in the Lowcountry.

(1) WE BUILD HOMES NEAR WATER

In the Low Country, we often build our houses near the water -- there is so much of it, this is often hard to avoid. But Bagman and I have a tendency to stand on our heads while taking pictures of these houses.




Wait a minute! Who is that below, reflectively sneaking off along the bank?


BUTLER: "Be careful, I think it's Bagman in disguise, sneaking off to hide in your bathroom, planning to try and take an x-rated picture of you in the shower."

It doesn't matter. I can't worry about Bagman right now since I have too many pictures and need to move forward or this blog will be endless. Anyway, speaking of building houses near water, sometimes the water becomes a problem and sits in the grass.

(2) THEN WE TRY TO MOVE WATER AWAY FROM OUR HOMES

Becuase we live near water, we sometimes have to move water away from our houses. This weekend, my neighbor and I have been sweating (another form of water) to dig a trench between our houses where water accumulates. The black pipe will carry water away from the grass. Ironically we had to cut and re-arrange the white pipes under the black pipes -- the white pipes are the water lines for the irrigation system which pumps water onto the grass.
Does anyone else see something really weird about this plan?

In any case, last night, he knocks on my door and says, "Oh my, I've messed up. I think I just cut your irrigation water line."

Just another little extra work...but, the next morning, looked at where the break might be since we could only identify one end of where he cut it. The other end seemed to have disappeared in a terrible tangle of huge roots and rocks that would take hours to dig through. We worked up a pretty good sweat digging up rocks and roots and trying to figure out where it connected. Until finally, we decided to turn on the sprinklers to see if that will help identify the other end. It was a miracle! Everything worked! It turned out he had cut into one end of a piece of old PVC pipe that wasn't connected to anything on the other end! Enough of dirty water. Let's look at other uses we have for water.

(3) HOT FROM DIGGING, WE DRINK WATER
We in the Lowcountry use water for alot of things. For instance, we drink it, although I suppose people in other places drink it too. I've never quite understood buying bottled water although I support my wife's bottled water addiction.


The whole top part of the refrigerator is full of it.


As is the bottom part of the refrigerator.

Don't ask me. And don't tell Karen but sometimes Bagman fills her used water bottles with tap water and puts them back. I tend to drink water at work from a water fountain, or a water bubbler.

These were designed and installed by government architects (i.e. lowest bidders) and government, of course must ensure accessibility by diverse people. In this case, I usually drink from the one on the left but people who are two or three inches shorter than myself can use the one on the right. It is also a little hard to read, but I still can't figure out why each fountain has two buttons, both of which say: "PUSH." I'm surprised that one of them wasn't written in Spanish or braille.

(3) WE HEAT WATER UP


Sometimes, in the Lowcountry, we use water heaters to heat our water
We put warning labels on them so people will know how to use hot water.


My favorite is (if you blow it up you can read it):
"Feel water before bathing or showering."


BAGMAN: "Psst. Hey, Mark. The shower's just the right temperature. So why don't you take one?"
BUTLER: "Be careful, boss. You'll be sorry. I think he is planning something Baggish.

But I ignore both of them. I've got way too many pictures to post for this one and am trying not to be too boring.

(4) WE COOL WATER DOWN


And sometimes the air conditioner leaks in interesting ways


________________________________________________________________________


TIME FOR A VIDEO BREAK!!!

(5) WE DRIVE THROUGH WATER and WE SING ABOUT WATER


CAUTION: Do not attempt this at home! This was filmed using a professional crazy driver. Always fasten your seat belt and DO NOT ATTEMPT driving in the rain while simultaneously singing and holding a camera.







(6) WE USE WATER FOR DECORATIVE FOUNTAINS


______________________________________________________________________________

(7) WE SWIM IN WATER and TRY TO BREATHE UNDER WATER









_______________________________________________________________________________
(8) FISH SWIM UNDER WATER and TRY TO BREATHE ABOVE WATER


(9) WE DIP OUR BABIES IN SALT WATER

(10) THEN WE WASH OFF THE SALT WATER WITH FRESH WATER


_______________________________________________________________________________

(11) WE PLAY IN WATER









Another sort of cheat (if cheating were possible) -- and they don't blow up well which is a shame since I would love to see Karen's face...Brian, once again, made a parent sit in the front row seat for this ride -- Disneyland, of course.
_______________________________________________________________________________

(12) WE USE WATER TO PUT OUT FIRES

I know, I know, this wasn't really in my hometown neighborhood and it was taken several years and a war ago -- but I just had to add it. I happened to be at a conference in a hotel across the street from the Pentagon that day. The quality is poor because it is a still shot from a very shaky video I took an old small video camera, the only thing I had with me at the time.



_________________________________________________________________________________
AND THAT ENDS THE 12 THINGS WE DO WITH WATER


BAGMAN SAYS: "Muaa ha ha! There's one more use of water Mark was afraid to mention! Muaa ha ha ha!"



WARNING! WARNING! BAGMAN HAS HIJACKED THIS BLOG!

BUTLER WARNS READERS NOT TO LOOK FURTHER UNLESS THEY ARE OVER 18

.
.
.
.
.
.
.

BUTLER WARNS: DO NOT GO ANY FURTHER!
.
.
.
.
.
.

BAGMAN WILL PAY FOR THIS!


So before we bring this lengthy dissertation on water to a close, I want you to know that Butler and I have, indeed, sentenced Bagman to a punishment appropriate to his deed and have locked him in the shower drain for a period of time not to exceed one week.



25 comments:

  1. Am I actually first to comment - now I am at a loss for words ... two 'push' on the water fountain for the left and right handed? The 6th photo, the orange house in the reflection.... with the green then yellow then dark grass / orange house / blue sky this is a great photo.

    ReplyDelete
  2. You crack me up! Talent Search called looking for you. Great! Great!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I guess there goes my drain photo, lol, what a great post! I love them all, but am partial to the reflective ones! But I do have to say that you might turn into a prune if you stay under too long :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Well, I had a busy week and I knew I would have a boring water shoot, but now it looks so boring I am thinking about taking it off and posting that I had no time at all for a water shoot.

    My, you outdid yourself this week! I say we all give you the Friday Shoot Out award of the week.

    "Do we have one of those?"

    You gave us a little of everything, but the winners are Bagman's photo and your singing. I think you should have done some singing in the shower. Is there a hidden message in the cacti?

    The reflections are my favorites. I was too lazy to dig mine out of their "somewhere in my computer" folders.

    Great job, guys. I love it!

    Hugs. Well, after you put a towel on.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Oh, and your banner...now that is a hoot!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Hilarious from the banner to the shower drain.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Ha,ha,ha!
    I loved the reflection of the houses. Just gorgeous. Notice I wasn't first?

    ReplyDelete
  8. Gee a lot of work went into this post! I am glad to see that you did not drive off the road while trying to video a roadside fountain. The photoshopping is great and I wish I could do that stuff.

    ReplyDelete
  9. The shots of the houses and their reflections are beautiful!!! Now that's talent Mark.
    And I love the little one being washed off by the fresh water. That is a priceless shot....he just looks so thrilled!!
    Wonderful video!! I totally think that next time American Idol is around, you should sing this song for Simon. You'd get through with your charm and enthusiasm. You made me smile before I even hit play because I knew it would be awesome.....of course, you never disappoint.
    Hey......what's with the censorship? And please don't leave Bagman in the drain too long. I don't think he can help himself......he's just a hippy at heart :)
    Hope your weekend is filled with love, joy and laughter and.......

    Steady On
    Reggie Girl

    Steady On
    Reggie Girl

    ReplyDelete
  10. Hilarious Mark. What great fun. Loved your new header.

    Who knew water was so versatile?

    ReplyDelete
  11. You are going to drown in that banner shot! Just try hard to keep you head above water :) The video is priceless! Great job.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Terrific!! i always enjoy reading your posts. this one is no exception either! The shots are fabulous especially the R-rated shower shot!

    ReplyDelete
  13. And I love the nearly 'flooded' header... it's hilarious

    ReplyDelete
  14. Dude.......please also check out Jama from Singapore this week and welcome her. She has some amazing shots over there.

    Geez, I almost did do a wet t-shirt shot that I took in Talledega last year but Prince wouldn't let me. Yet another form of censorship!!

    http://mummyjam.blogspot.com/2009/05/friday-shoot-out-water.html

    Tell Bagman to call me dude......seriously (when he is released from the drain. Is that kinda like waterboarding but in the drain?? Is that legal? Well, it may be legal but is it moral?
    I think I want to dance in the rain with Bagman. Do you think he'd be game? Prince and Karen can dance together and you can take photos....

    Steady On
    Reggie Girl

    ReplyDelete
  15. I thoroughly enjoyed this post! We used to do the water bottle thing, but we'd buy a sixpack & after we'd drunk the water I would wash them & then refill them with our brita filtered water. Now I use a Flylady water bottle - it's insulated & keeps my water cold & doesn't sweat.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Ahhahahahaha

    I am completely blown over by this one!! LOL :D

    Thanks for putting so much into it, it's brightened up my day a bunch. (Oh and let Bagman out! Golly, gee, crimany, poor guy, just can't help himself) ;p

    (I put up my post this morning, I noticed that you commented on something else... :D and The Rainy Night song... I have it playing on my blog, just love it!! Um, and your interpretation of it was interesting as well... ;p)

    ReplyDelete
  17. You are the definite winner for the most fantastic header picture! Priceless!! I love the reflection of the house in the water photo, that is so artistic. I feel like I want a print of it to frame and hang up in my room. You came up with the most fantastic shots, small moments in life captured on film, like the baby getting washed, and the adventure park ride! A VERY entertaining post, both you pics and your writing!! Your writing makes me go back and read it all over again, it is so wonderful! Debby

    ReplyDelete
  18. That was a bit priceless BB

    and let my Baggy out of that drain immediatly!!!

    Love it....

    xxx

    ReplyDelete
  19. oh my, you have outdone yourself! I really liked the reflection photos. They looked like art. :)

    Your header photo is too funny.

    ReplyDelete
  20. I like your new banner hahaha, so funny. But I really stunned with your photos on the reflection of the houses, I love them! And I like the oil and water mix, that's science! :-)

    ReplyDelete
  21. I had such fun reading this... great photos! I'm glad I'm not the only one that forgets :-)

    ReplyDelete
  22. You are TOO funny, great photos and text. You never disappoint me. Have a great weekend.

    ReplyDelete
  23. OMG! what can I say? never a dull moment over here! what an awesome post.

    ReplyDelete