Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Bagman and Butler discuss nothing much of importance

Butler enters the common room.  He is, as always, immaculately dressed, even at six in the morning.  Bagman is half asleep under a newspaper on the couch. 

BUTLER: "I wonder.  Have you seen Mark lately?"

BAGMAN:  "Why ask me?  You're the one that runs around keeping tabs on him.  Probably hiding from you, if you ask me.  Oh yes, you did ask me."

BUTLER:  "I'm just worried about him.  I know he is going through old pictures and scanning ones that have Sally in them so he can make a book for Brian and maybe  post some for Friday's shootout theme.  But seems disconnected from Blogspot."

BAGMAN:  "Yeah.  He he said so himself.  On blogspot!  I think you make him guilty, always nagging, 'you should do this' and 'you should do that.'"
BUTLER: "What does that have to do with blogspot?"

BAGMAN: "You're such a proper twit!  You know?  You've got him convinced that he can't post anything unless he reads everybody else's blogs!"

BUTLER: "Well it is common decency."

BAGMAN: "Screw common decency!  I've seen what you've done to him!  Yesterday he sat down at the computer, pulled up Blogger and tried to go back and look at all the Sunset pictures people posted from last Friday!  And all the blogs since then!  Barry had a whole series on how he was dealing with his cancer!  He read a couple, couldn't think of anything to say and shut down the computer and left the room.  I haven't seen him since."

BUTLER: "Well.  It was...well...his choice."

BAGMAN: "Choice, smoich!  He hasn't had a good sexual fantasy in weeks!"

BUTLER: "That's not true.  You got him back in touch with his high school reunion.  Lots of old girlfriends and all?"

BAGMAN: "Yeah, right.  And did you see the photos from the reunion.  He was glad he didn't go.  Ruined 40 years of memories for him.  Made him realize that he's grown old and overweight as well!"

BUTLER:  "Not all of them were overweight."

BAGMAN:  "Quibble quibble.  Details. You get my point.  Anyhow, I haven't seen him lately.  Go look for him yourself."

BUTLER (after a long thoughtful pause):  "No.  Maybe you should go look for him.  I hate to admit it, but he probably needs you more than me.  Maybe you can light a fire under him."

BAGMAN:  "Yeah, right.  So you can pour cold water on it."

BUTLER:  "Depends on how hot it gets."

BAGMAN:  "Yeah, that helps alot!  Go get happy but not too happy?  Is that the message?"

Bagman throws a cup of coffee at Butler.  Butler ducks and then promptly pulls a roll of paper towels out from nowhere and begins cleaning up the spill.  Bagman groans, rolls off the couch and storms out of the room.

BAGMAN:  "Okay, okay.  I'll see what I can do." 


  1. I think I have an old picture of my high school girlfriends in bikinis somewhere. Would that help?

  2. how about photos of the girls on Ipanema beach? - I'll be in Rio over the weekend and can get you a couple... course to be fair have to do some of the cute buns playing men's volie on the beach for the women who may need help. Acceptance - this is the issue now, at this time of life - just accept.

  3. It's easy to fall in the pit -- even without help from Bagman or Butler and it's always much easier to fall in than it is to climb out. You'll get out though -- when you're ready. B and B may not understand so???? Tough s*#t, guys!

    Have a good day anyway,


  4. YIPES! I better watch what I write. We need Mark's humour and quirky take on things to get us all through the day.

    Hurry and find him Bagman! Hurry!

  5. Linda
    Between Jeanie, Roxie and Sally (not to mention the high school reunion), you have had a very full summer... an emotional roller coaster. Go easy on yourself. Take some time for you. Recharge your batteries and pull yourself together before personality parts drift away.

  6. Hope you find him - and then take good, gentle care of him and tell him to take his time and do exactly what he needs to do.

  7. What is going on with him? B&B, I finally have you all straight now.

  8. Mark I love you to bits!
    I hate how we get guilty when we don't visit our friends blogs and leave comments.
    "Screw common decency" that should be the new catch-cry for all of us!

    Big hugs
    Peg xxx