BAGMAN: "Rearranging! You sound like some geek from Good Housekeeping! Why don't you tell the truth sometimes! Karen was on your ass about all the junk in the desk so you just moved it all to the empty bureau in your studio! Same pile of junk, different place!"
BUTLER: "But he did throw out a couple of dead batteries."
In any case, while I was cleaning out and rearranging the stuff, I ran across some things of Karen's in there.
BAGMAN: "So now, at least, the pile of junk in your bureau is at least all your junk!"
Karen has every scribble Brian ever made from Kindergarten on up. Every Valentine's card I ever gave her. And I remembered immediately when I saw this tucked in a drawer --
The Tooth Fairy's safety deposit box.
It seems a bit gruesome somehow.
But who am I to judge what people collect. So this morning, after my morning libations...
BAGMAN: "What kind of a jerk uses words like 'libations'?"
BUTLER: "In this case, Mark, old friend, Bagman is right but for a different reason. The definition of "libations" is the ritual use of a beverage, particularly an intoxicating beverage, usually as a sacrifice. It has nothing to do with shaving and showering.
Does coffee drinking count?
Anyway, after shaving and showering and, trying to remember what word I meant to use, I gathered my fingernail clippings and asked Karen if she had a place she was keeping them.
"The trashcan," she answered without missing a beat.
You throw batteries out? in the trash? they're toxic waste, you know. Please recycle. In California at least, many grocery stores have bins for them. Here any store that sells batteries is required to take them back later.
ReplyDeleteGood luck with your reorganized piles. You'll never find anything again.
Oops I throw out old batteries all the time. Never heard of a recycle for them. Maybe I better look into this. Glad you got your drawers straightened out.
ReplyDeleteQMM
Maybe I was a mean mom after all, I threw their teeth away, in fear of discovery as well...I recycle as much as possible, but the only battery 'thingy' we know of is car batteries? Bagman what does 'thingy' mean? I am going to the urban dictionary for that one...
ReplyDeleteI would recommend removing this post. Brian could see it and his belief in the Tooth Fairy would be forever crushed. Put those teeth in a safety deposit box.
ReplyDeleteMore snow coming.
I wanted to save each child's first lost tooth, though I agree it's a macabre custom that mothers have adopted. But Brendan, my eldest son, foiled the plan. He was loath to touch the wiggly tooth and wouldn't let anyone else touch it either. No strings around the tooth, other end tied to a doorknob. He was determined to let it come out without the pain he anticipated. So one day, after a snack of ripe pear. . . the tooth was gone. And so was the collectible.
ReplyDeleteWow, that's a lot of teeth for one little kid. I don't remember losing that many. But I do remember the tooth fairy coming once or twice. One time I used a band-aid tin so the tooth fairy would be sure to find my tooth.
ReplyDeleteAs far as recycling the batteries: I've never heard of a recycling bin for regular batteries. Car batteries, yes but not AA. I toss mine in the garbage too.
http://www.ehso.com/ehshome/batteries.php for battery information. Many stores have a bin at the front.
ReplyDeleteThere is a tendency to keep children's teeth. What about an old man's lost teeth? Nobody cares!
ReplyDeleteSorry about your lost fingernail clippings! :-)
As a kindergarten teacher, I've seen A WHOLE LOT of baby teeth come out. Toss 'em. The body sheds them for a reason: they've served their purpose, and they're useless.
ReplyDeleteGracious! Where's my libation?
Interesting how the happiness of losing baby teeth contrasts with the sadness of losing adult teeth.
Glad to know someone else saved baby theeth. That's funny. Of course I don't still have them..I am starting to go through my old cards ,so hard to just toss them.. that line above about adult theeth is so true, a scream at my age.
ReplyDelete