Sunday, December 19, 2010

Depression - now there's a title that is sure to drive away readers.

I seem to have temporarily misplaced my sense of humor.  I even looked for it in Conner's big truck that has a compartment where he likes to hide things -- like his little brother's pacifier. 

BAGMAN:  "That second sense about Conner's truck was kind of cute...maybe you are getting your sense of humor back?"

But I don't have any follow-up.  

BUTLER:  "Don't fret, Mark, old chap.  You have plenty of experience with these little depressions.  You always snap out of them in a few days."

I know, I know.  

BAGMAN:  "And don't forget.  It's almost Christmas."

BUTLER:  "That's right.  Mark doesn't do very well with Christmas for some reason.  And although his arm is getting better, the constant ache is probably wearing on him emotionally.

Blah blah blah.   Are you guys finished talking about me yet?  Can I go lie down now?  

BUTLER:  "Lying down is counter-productive when you are feeling blah, you know."

I know.  I know. 

BUTLER:  "And you also know that when you are feeling sorry for yourself the best thing you can do is to..."

...Is to do something for somebody else!  Yes, I know that too.  I didn't start this blog the morning so I could listen to you two charactors trying to do therapy on me!  You can't tell me anything I don't already know since I made you up in the first place."
BAGMAN:  "That's just mean!  I'm hurt."
See, I'm even snapping at my own alter-egos.    But I'll get back soon.   After a nap, counter-prodductive or not, I'll go back to searching for my sense of humor. 

BAGMAN:  "You might try using a metal-detector."

Very funny.  Good try.  But I haven't quite finished milking the pity-pot yet. 


  1. Ah yes, we all have those moments (or hours or days...) from time to time, don't we? For me, it is "The Voices trying to convince me every now and then that I am ugly and boring and not worth anybody's attention. Although I am happy to report that The Voices have not made themselves heard for AGES, I am carefully avoiding being too complacent about the whole thing. A little reminder from time to time keeps my feet on the ground, it seems.
    Hope you'll snap out of this one soon.

  2. It's okay. We like you even when you aren't funny. Keep writing, and get better soon.

  3. I don't know - I think your sense of humor is slipping through in spite of yourself. Butler and Bagman are always amusing!

    Seriously, it is wearing to have a constant ache or pain. You have every right to feel down. Here's hoping a bright, sunny day, the laughter of grandkids, and Christmas festivities will bring some sparkle back.

  4. Expectations. All the memories when they were not met...our own of ourselves and the ones we had of others. They sneak into that little gray layer in your mind and then when the weather gets gray they start nagging...but so anonymously you don't know that they are the reason you feel low. Take a walk and look for some birds or squirrels or other animal trying to find food on this cold winter's day and you just might get out of that funk for a bit.

  5. Depression is actually a fantastically interesting topic. Personally, I don't see anything wrong with depression.I think its more the fear of it that gives people that "in-the-dumps" feeling.

    Depression might be a person's intelligence. The person who is usually concentrating on "get r done baby, move through that schedule, optimize! prioritize! maximize! Now, go to bed, get up and do it all again" .

    Depression might be intelligent brain saying " slow down, think about the meaning of what you are doing, what did that last encounter you just had with that person mean? Why did you wake up at two o'clock in the morning with monkey-mind this whole last week? Why are you always turning the radio on when you drive? Why did you make that completely unnecessary comment you knew would annoy that person? Are you holding your breath at the computer? Do you even notice?Where are you in life? Who are you? "

    Depression says "Its time to take a different view now, stop running, sit down and watch the stuff move by you, observe and draw some conclusions"

    Depression could be the cure for Repression and Obsession, (and their various combinations repressed obsession and obsessed repression) two places we spend most of our time, working hard of course to disguise them as something else. Which is the supremely human art of cognitive dissonance (But that is the topic for another day.)

    So, enjoy your depression, think of it as a sort of psychic yellow traffic light.

    and Christmas is a cultural removal of all speed limits and traffic lights, an encouragement to take already extreme-speed lifestyles and ramp them up into hyper-warp speed, leaving approximately.000007 nano seconds for reflection.

    So, an intelligent person would naturally become somewhat depressed.

    Now with a lot of practice someone might ruthlessly eradicate depression and become content with a rigid philosophical routine, with the accompanying judgmentalism,which could result in repressed obsession

    or the person could just try and ignore it and let the fear of depression erect protections against its anti-normal feelings, which might result in obsessed repression.

    With vigorous application these methods might develop a sort of psychological scar tissue, which takes care of the fear part


    both of these approaches would ultimately lead to an Unexamined Life.

    which is one of the things against which depression may be meant to guard.

    So...its good to know you are a smart, sensitive, alive, aware person.

    don't ever change.

  6. Hey! We humorists depend on our depression as a source of material!! Depression is what makes us look for the funny like a life preserver. I have great faith that you will find something ridiculous in the next 24 hours that is blog worthy (if not you, surely B and B (and I know--"Don't call me Shirley"). If not, chocolate and watching "House Bunny" (a PG-13 movie which made me laugh out" should do the trick. Bone pain hurts--get some drugs!

  7. G'day darling man ...I hear you. I've just come out of a rushed hospital visit with pnuemonia and acute asthma and I was actually SITTING HERE ...thinking Oh dear god I think I'm leaning into depressed. Get out get out gone with you. *smile* I also (don't we all ....or most of us who are Friends of Bill W?) ... find Chrissie pretty challenging.
    Time for a gratitude list and also to do anything at all that makes you feel better this hour .. a shower ...a cuddle ...a book ....I don't know what ..but some simple action.

  8. Depression is not so bad. It will go away when, and if ever, the sun shines again. Just keep trucking along. Blessings

  9. I will cheer you up with an email, my friend. In the meantime, get your butt up and get out and do something, but stay away from McDonald's. Personal joke, everyone.

    I have to run. I'm late.

  10. Ditto...I am not in on the joke, but yes, stay away from McDonald's, for my own gross reasons...

    My friend and I were just saying (I am sitting in her office in Dallas right now) We hate Christmas- cards, decorating, shopping, but we love to cook, so baking is on tomorrow...

  11. I guess there is no rule that says you have to be funny all the time. a moment of humor versus funny ha ha!. go ahead, go out, take photos of depressing things, wallo in it to your hearts content. can't hit the peaks without walking in the valleys.

    came back to Rio after 2 montha in Houston. Don't know where I am supposed to be. I live in such a beautiful prison - while in Houston I live in a simple house with lots of people / dogs / cats and major alergies and I love it.
    will recover though - started back to the gym, that will help - the hugs from all the young trainers brings up my spirits.

  12. Did you take pain medication for your arm? That stuff brings me down in a bad way. I hate that medication. It also affects me when I stop taking it. Kind of like when I stop drinking coffee cold turkey. And don't you have a houseful right now? The noise level and added stress has to affect your mood. It would mine. Best wishes to you and hoping this feeling passes quickly.

  13. Your humor slipped through, anyway. I'm not good with lingering health situations either, Mark. Fortunately, I haven't had to deal with any recently. Hang in there. And keep Bagman and Butler close by. :)