Monday, September 6, 2010

Dreaming on the couch

Subtitle: Inception Part II - The Family

This morning I fell asleep on the couch and began dreaming that I had taken the day off from work to spend having some quality time with my more or less grown-up son. But I knew I had to walk the dog so I was trying to wake up and finally did. (But of course, I didn't really).

I continued dreaming that I was awake but so groggy I felt maybe I had had some kind of stroke. Daisy came when I called and I stumbled to the porch, dismayed to see that someone had tracked brightly colored fall leaves throughout the house. (Dream interpretation 101a from a misremembered quote by Leon Troski: "It is odd but the greatest surprise that ever comes to man is that he has grown old").

I knew Karen would be upset to see all the leaves in the house but I couldn't think about cleaning them up; I could hardly remove the chainlock from the porch door (Dream interpretation 101b: "The chain lock must stand for something but I don't know what -- maybe just feeling trapped by my life). I could hardly stand up or breathe. I wondered if I was dying. Outside, Daisy ran happily off and I noticed that a storm had blown the cover of the grill into the lake. It was Lake Pearl where I grew up as a child. (Dream interpretation 101c: "No need to interpret this -- lake, childhood, happier time, it is what it is"). I saw it floating just under the surface of the water beyond my grasp. When I turned to see if I could find a stick or something to get it, Brian, his wife, children, and a gang of his friends were standing on the porch steps watching me. I was surprised to see them because I thought he had already been taken off to prison. But seeing him reminded me of a message I had wanted to give him about people plotting against him. I had planned to tell him when we were alone but I thought I'd never see him again so I leaned in and -- his wife was screaming at me not to tell him and he was shrinking back in terror -- but I laid out what I knew. Afterwards, however, I knew that I had destroyed him with the knowledge.

Devastated myself, I turned and jumped into the lake retrieve the grill cover but it had sunk. The pristine lake of my child hood was now polluted with hundreds of old, soggy, cardboard boxes. (Dream interpretation 101d: "Obvious, old chap -- you are drowning in the emotional baggage of your past -- that subconscious metaphor is a no-brainer")

So I climbed out, realizing my cellphone and palm pilot had been destroyed by the water, and went inside. Brian and all his friends were busy moving all their stuff out of my house - furniture, clothes and toys belonging to the grandkids. Karen arrived and began helping but I did not lift a finger. I just watched the rooms becoming bare. I was sad that I'd never see them again and yet I noticed how clean and bright the walls and floors had become.

I went out the porch again, to walk around the house and up the hill to a store. Karen said, "Aren't you going to hug everybody goodbye?"

"Nope," I grunted, but when I walked around the side they were all coming around from where the truck was loaded to hug me goodbye. I wasn't in the mood and shrugged off the hugs. Except Brian. He held me for a longer than usual time and seemed to want to say something but was unable to talk. I just whispered in his ear, "Be strong. Be careful. You have enemies."

The hug ended and I went on up the hill to Walmart thinking, sadly, that he probably wouldn't last very long but there wasn't much more I could do about it. And just maybe he had some of the bizarre strengths of youth that had seen me through when I had been his age. I couldn't remember what they were now. But I had survived and maybe he would too.

Coming back down the hill from Walmart, I suddenly realized that I could kind of ski on the gravel road on my stocking feet. It was a thrill, gaining speed and slaloming back and forth to avoid cars and road equipment. Near the bottom, going fast, I saw that there was a break in the road and I decided to jump it...and like a ski-jumper I was suddenly high in the air. Flying over everything, wind in my face. I felt a sense of ecstasy.

Dream interpretation 101e: "I'm still working on the cell phone and palm pilot and you lost me completely at Walmart. The flying part might be some kind of life after death thing. Heck, you know better than to try and interpret dreams."

And before I came down, Daisy was licking my hand next to the couch and I woke up and took her for a walk. Lake Pearl was no longer there but I noticed the lawn needed mowing soon. I checked my cell phone but there was no message from my son. I came up stairs and wrote this blog.

Or maybe I'm still dreaming.

And, if not, I suspect anyone who tries to read it will be bored into sleeping. The other truth about dreams is that they never have any interest for anyone except for the dreamer.

Night night.

8 comments:

  1. I would dispute that - I found this post very interesting - especially your interpretation of what you'd experienced. I think dreams are tools when used on that way, and you must have shed a lot of angst to be able to fly so high by the end... :)

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  2. But what did you buy at Wal-Mart?!

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  3. if The dreams which we see while sleeping get shattered or get broken are still tolerable but what about the dreams which we see while wide awake with open eyes -- if they are shattered then it is very difficult to live with them

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  4. :0) I have strange dreams- I could write Sci-fi from them...maybe way more boring.

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  5. you have interesting dreams. what is amazing to me is that you can also remember them. I remember mine for a fleeting moment after I wake up. then gone.

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  6. I think you were flying in your dream because you were liberated. Flying is also spiritual in nature. Who knows.... dreams are the gateway to our subconscious and they can be quite intersting and hard to figure out. I did enjoy reading about yours.

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  7. You were flying because you have had three days to sleep on the couch. Nothing to be accountable for at work. Feeling free. I constantly dream about working with my old boss, doctor, and forgetting everything I am supposed to do as a nurse. LOL. I just walk around looking for things.
    Nothing is where it is supposed to be. Confused?
    QMM

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  8. I wish I could remember my dreams in such detail! Althougth I doubt they would make such an interesting story.

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