Chatting with Butler and Bagman

I had a meeting.  I was running late.  I rushed into the workroom, still dressed in my workclothes although I had divested my tie in the car on the way home.  I hit the start button on the computer and nothing happened. 

I looked up and saw that Bagman and Butler were just staring at me with that expression I know so well.  At least Bagman had that expression -- half laughing, half angry, half curious to see my reaction.  (Yes, I know that adds up to 150%).  Butler hardly ever has any expression.  But I could tell it had something to do with my computer.  "Very funny, very funny.  You want to log me back onto the nework now?"

BAGMAN (grinning toothily):  "Sorry, Jack, you've been shut off."
BUTLER (nodding gravely): "We voted." 

There was a long silence followed by a longer silence although to be honest there was nothing in between the two silences so it might have actually been one very long silence.  Long enough, anyway so that I knew I would have to break it.  So I did.  "Care to tell me why?"

BAGMAN:  "Because we've been watching you!  Running here, running there...working, trying to be everywhere at once. We know you!!"

BUTLER: "It was my idea to shut you off.  We both knew you were overdue..."

"For what?"  I said.  "Overdue for what?"

BAGMAN:  "For one of your big whineys!"

BUTLER:  "I don't know about the people who follow you, but Bagman and I are really tired of listening to you complain about not being able to blog or read other people's blogs."

"That's not fair!  I don't whine that much," I whined.  "Besides, I've been reading blogs."

BUTLER: "You read a grand total of five this morning and three of them you just skimmed."

"But I was busy!  I only had an hour before work and I had photos to download and I had to write a letter and..."   I stopped and thought a minute.  Bagman and Butler were just staring at me.  "I'm whining aren't I?"  

They both nodded their heads. 

"So are you going to let me post a blog today or not?"

BAGMAN:  "Not a chance, Jack!"

I shrugged and went back upstairs to work on my taxes.  Just before I closed the door, I heard Butler asking Bagman a question.

BUTLER: "Why are you calling him Jack?"

Microfiction Monday - the seduction

I'll take a nother shot at microfiction Monday.  The weekend has been nuts and I'm not sure the microfiction is 140 characters...well, it is if you don't count spaces... I can't remember how the official thing works and don't really have time or energy to go check it.   But here is the picture I'm supposed to use and the story that goes with it. 

Don't you want to slip your hand under my suit, Sweetie?

Not really.

You don't? I'm hurt. Why not?

Because there's nothing under it. Did you forget that you're a cartoon?