Thursday, January 13, 2011

Friday My Town Photo Shoot -- Weird and Bizarre


Walking into the Bagman and Butler studio this morningm, I can tell right away that Butler is in a funk. Sulking, he looks up and gives me a weird look.

BUTLER (sarcastically): "So you finally deign to join us?"

It's too early to deal with squabbling, so I mumble about how I've been busy and emotinoally drained from finally making up my mind to retire in March and beginning to tell people.  And besides, who uses the word "deign" this early in the morning?

BUTLER: "If you're worried about the shoot, Bagman's already finished it anyhow."

I look over and acknowledge Bagman who has been jumping up and down and waving his arms and shaking like a wet dog for joy so much that whiskers from his long white beard are floating around his head like a little dust cloud.

BAGMAN (delirious with ego-fueled ecstasy) "And every picture is mine!!! I've collected them from a lifetime!"

BUTLER (sourly) "A lifetime of being weird..."

BAGMAN: "Better than a lifetime of ironing shirts!  Look how exquisitely weird I was when I was twenty!"

Valentine Chicken

BUTLER: "I'm not sticking around for this."  (He leaves).

I consider leaving too but since I am the only one in the room with actual physical fingers that can push the "Post" button, I'm stuck.

Popcorn Baby

Dog Morph

I wonder if this would get any better if I just shut my eyes.

Bagman's Best Friend

Hear no flamingo, See no Flamingo, Speak no flamingo

Hands #1

Hands #2

Cow that gives milk in cardboard containers

Sands of time

Gatekeeper of the sands of time

BAGMAN:  "Open your eyes, Mark!  You took this one!"

I remember shooting a classic facade of one of downtown Charleston's historic mansions a few weeks ago.  "That's not weird.  It's just a statue in some rich guy's drawing room."

BAGMAN: "Look more closely!  The statue is mooning all the horse-drawn tourist carriages that ride by!"

Typical Charleston 10K Runner

I shut my eyes again, trying to shield myself from the sight similar to the man in the background trying to protect his innocent young son.

BAGMAN: "Don't act so innocent, Mark.  You've got the driftwood below hanging on your office wall!

BAGMAN: "Didn't you ever wonder why people didn't like to go into your office?"

Eyeing the baby

Locking up Bagman in the drain

Butler and I should never have let you out." I comment.

BAGMAN:  "Let me out!  I escaped! No shower drain can hold the Bagman for long!  I'm the master of escape, the Houdini of exit-ry, the Shaman of showers, the..."

"Can we please get on with this?" I plead.

Bagman dances the tree dance
(You might click and blow this one up)

Bagman's Tree-Dance Partner

When in Rome do as the Roman's do...

"That's not even in our hometown," I say. "At least the treeman was local."

BAGMAN: "But Cleopatra is so hot!"

"Oh no!" I scream, turning away with disgust at Bagman's exhibit.

BAGMAN: "Don't act so squeamish and self-righteous with me, Mark.  You've posed for pictures that make nudes look tame!

Self-portrait with prostate

"That's not nude modeling, " I protest.  "That was scientific medicine and it cured me of cancer!"

BAGMAN:  "It's still weird!"

Why dontcha come up and see me some time...
A little wine, a little music, I could eat you right up.

Ooh...a praying mantis.  Yummy

Blowing a kiss goodnight as we mount the stairs.

BAGMAN:  "And now for the X-Rated ones!"

With desparation, I leap-frog the monitor, head-butt Bagman in his gluttounous gut, and hit the post button before he can do anymore damage. 

BAGMAN: "But it's not even Friday yet!!!"



  1. Those shots are amazing! Popcorn baby is my personal favorite.

  2. Unbelievable! Still photos speak louder than sounds!

  3. I love them all. You got very creative on this post. I like popcorn baby too, but I think my personal favorite is the drain and eyeing the baby. Your header is pretty wierd too. Haha. Love it. Well, I really like the personality you captured in that praying mantis too.

  4. Great post, Mark! You make me want to leap up and acquire photoshop.

  5. A truly fascinating and diverse collection.
    How odd and weird that we both featured praying mantises (of a sort) today.

    Just think: When you retire, you will have unlimited time to explore your creative self!

  6. Wow what a post. Those are amazing shots and enhancements. Love the one of the drain. My favorite is the big tree.

  7. I can see that you had a ton of fun with this assignment! From the Valentine chicken all the way to the steps in Italy, you do have an eye for the weird. Congratulations on your decision to retire in March!

  8. I'd say a really great collection of weird stuff. Funny and weird!

  9. Waw, Loved the photos. Absolutely GREAT!

  10. "Eyeing the baby" is a really great shot!

  11. You're WEIRDness at it's BEST! Bagman...too Weird, too!

  12. You have an excellent eye....thank you for the gift of these. Achoooooo! Loved the prostrate views too. Absolutely u-ni-que.

  13. Wow, some really cool shots. Each one was weird in its own way. I really enjoyed the variety of strange!

  14. OMG am blowing my rum and coke through my nose..ya know that kinda hurts..but giggle snort..tooo funny! Thank you for being in the spirit of the Weird!! Whahahahahaha!!!
    Hugs, Sarah

  15. You sure crack me up with your entry this week, Bagman! lol
    btw, that pester and mortar ( with the 2 fruits) are commonly used in Indonesia to crush chilli, onion, garlic....into fine paste. A must have in most homes in Asia, some are slightly different shape.

  16. Is that handsome guy the next president to be up at Mt Rushmore?

    Your cow will fly to Singapore to meet Jama's.

  17. this theme is right up your alley I see. lol always so much fun coming here. I don't know if I can pick a fav. all are so good!!

  18. I love, love, love the dancing tree!!! You truly DO have an eclectic collection of the weird and bizarre. And in your neighbourhood I would venture to guess that no one has anything quite as weird or bizarre in their photo collection. Well done Bagman... err Butler..... Mark! =D

  19. Great post, Mark.

    I dithered for months before deciding to retire. It's been over 7 years now and I have enjoyed every moment of it. My volunteer work gets me out and makes me feel good and I love having time to photograph, write, and paint. I'm sure you'll enjoy it, too.

  20. Hey! This post couldn't be written any better! Reading this post reminds me of my previous room mate! He always kept talking about this. I will forward this article to him. Fairly certain he will have a good read. Thank you for sharing!

    Here is my page anti cellulite treatment