Thursday, June 4, 2009

Hometown Guest Shoot-outer: SALLY

Last week when I heard the theme for this week was "Random," I struggled with what I could do that was random. I could blindfold myself and drive fast through town shooting at random moments but Butler thought that was risky. Finally I decided the most random thing I could do was to let someone else shoot it.

BAGMAN: Pick me! Pick me! I'm great at being randy!

BUTLER: It's "Random, not Randy."

And the two B&B boys began brawling in the livingroom, so I couldn't pick them to shoot the blog. I thought about letting Karen shoot random pictures but she is much too organized and would make a list....the opposite of random. I was about to give up doing the Friday shoot at all until I noticed that Sally was looking out the window at the backyard and wanting to go out. Aha! Let Sally shoot it! She's a dog which is probably a little less random than a cat, but she would be as close to random. I know she is old and deaf and her eyes are getting bad so focus might be a problem. But since Lindsey adds so much to Barry's blog, I thought I should give Sally a chance.

She jumped at it. Well, she actually just stood up slowly and stiffly at it. But she had motivation. I didn't realize she was going to take over my header as well, but she insisted and wouldn't release the copyright to her pictures unless I gave her artistic freedom. Yesterday my blog explained how the old dog learned a new trick and today I will let her post the results and explain them herself.

But first I should add a legal disclaimer for the sake of the people of PETA: "OFFICIAL NOTICE -- No frogs, moles, or cats were harmed during the filming of this blog."

OKAY: It's all yours, Sally Girl.

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SNORT, SLOBBER, WHY DID I AGREE TO DO THIS PHOTO THING TODAY? I WANT TO SLEEP INSTEAD. I LOVE MY BED EXCEPT AFTER KAREN WASHES IT AND IT SMELLS YUCKY PERFUMY LIKE. BUT TODAY IT'S NICE AND RANK AND I THINK I'LL JUST SLEEP ALL DAY. WAIT. IS THAT MY LEASH COMING TOWARD ME?



BOY, OH BOY, I'M GOING FOR A WALK! I'M GOING FOR A WALK. GET MY HALTER ON! HURRY UP. DON'T GIVE THE SQUIRRELS TIME TO GET AWAY FROM THE BIRD FEEDER.

RUN RUN...WHEW ENOUGH OF THAT. MY ENDURANCE ISN'T WHAT IT USED TO BE. BUT HEY! WHAT'S THIS? NOSE DOWN!!

I KNOW THAT SMELL! DIRTY, FURRY, PINK, FLESHY MOLE BEING QUIET. COME ON, MOLEY, YOU WANT TO BE IN MY MOUTH, DON'T YOU. DON'T YOU? AND OH, HEY, WAIT, LOOK! THE POND! PLEASE LET ME GO ALL THE WAY TO THE EDGE THIS TIME! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!

STOP HOLDING THE LEASH SO TIGHT! WHY CAN'T I SMELL THE TURTLE EGG FISH MUD DUCK POOP FROG MUSHY SMELLS? YOU LET ME GO TO THE EDGE IN THE WINTER WHEN ITS COLD...IT SHOULD BE BETTER IN THE SUMMER! LET ME CLOSER! WHY CAN'T ...

OH. THAT'S RIGHT. FORGOT ABOUT HIM. OH! WHAT'S THAT OVER THERE? A NEW HOLE? MOLE? NO, PROBABLY NOT IN THE PINEY SMELLING STUFF. NOSE DOWN!

KIND OF SLINKY, SNAKEY SMELLING. COME ON SNAKEY THING, DON'T YOU WANT TO BE IN MY MOUTH? AND WHY DOES MARK KEEP TUGGING ON MY LEASH? OH! I GOT IT! OH BOY! WE ARE GOING AROUND TO THE FRONT OF THE HOUSE! HOORAY! PANT PANT PANT!

HEY! LET'S GO ALL THE WAY DOWN THE STREET TOO!! LET'S GO ALL AROUND THE BIG PATH TO THE DUCK POND AND TENNIS COURTS AND MARSHY BRIDGE AND SMELL ALL THE DIFFERENT DOGS' POOP ALONG THE WAY. I KNOW, I KNOW. I GET TIRED THINKING ABOUT IT NOW. LAST TIME YOU ALMOST HAD TO CARRY ME BACK BECAUSE MY LEGS SOMETIMES GET WEAK. BUT HEY! HEY! THAT'S ALL RIGHT! LET'S CHASE THE KELLEY'S CAT FROM UNDER THE TRUCK FROM UNDER THE TRUCK!

COME ONE EYES! LOOK HARD! SNICKERS IS USUALLY UNDER THEIR TRUCK! HE MUST BE THERE! I'M COMING TO GET YOU SNICKERS! AW, HE'S NOT THERE THIS MORNING. THAT'S OKAY. HEY! HEY! LOOK!

HEY! IT'S THE TOAD! HE'S RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME! HE WANTS TO GET IN MY MOUTH AGAIN! AW, WOOF! COME ON, MARK, LET ME HAVE HIM! JUST BECAUSE I ATE HIM ONCE AND THREW UP ALL OVER THE BEDROOM RUG! IT'S ONLY A RUG AND THE CATS PUT HAIRBALLS THERE ALL THE TIME! AND THE TOAD OBVIOUSLY WANTS TO BE IN MY MOUTH AND...OH WELL, THAT'S OKAY, HEY! HEY! NEW DIRT!

THE NEIGHBORS NEW FRENCH DRAIN WAS HERE! WE WATCHED HIM DIG IT LAST WEEK! I POOPED NEXT TO IT, RIGHT WHERE HE WAS DIGGING. I WAS BEING HELPFUL. WHY DID YOU CLEAN IT UP? DUMB HUMANS! BUT HEY! HEY!

HERE'S ONE YOU DIDN'T CLEAN UP. HEY! OH. OH, I GET IT. WE'RE AT THE PLACE WHERE YOU USUALLY ACTUALLY WANT ME TO GO. I'M NOT DUMB, YOU KNOW. I REALIZE THAT IF I DO MOST OF MY DOOTY (OR DO YOU SPELL THAT "DUTY") AROUND THE SAME PLACE, IT'S EASIER FOR YOU TO PICK UP BEFORE MOWING. THAT'S OKAY, I AIM TO PLEASE. WAIT A MINUTE. I THINK I FEEL. YES. OOPS. WHERE DID THAT COME FROM. GLAD I DIDN'T DO IT IN THE HOUSE. HEY!

SPEAKING OF THE HOUSE! HEY! THERE IT IS! I GUESS THE WALK IS OVER. CAN'T WE GO LONGER? PLEASE? I KNOW IF I PULL BACK HARD ENOUGH YOU'LL LET ME! YOU ALWAYS DO, YOU'RE SO EASY TO PREDICT. BUT, ACTUALLY, I THINK I'M GETTING A BIT FATIGUED ANYHOW. HEY! I'M OVER 100 YEARS OLD IN DOG YEARS! DID YOU KNOW THAT?

AND I REALLY FEEL IT WHEN I HAVE TO UP THESE STEPS. MY BACK LEGS PARTICULARLY! DON'T RUSH ME. IF YOU RUSH ME I SOMETIMES FALL BACKWARDS. AND HEY! NO! I DON'T WANT A RAMP! NOT YET! I'VE STILL GOT SOME BIG DOG PRIDE LEFT IN ME! JUST LET ME TAKE MY TIME AND I'LL BE FINE. SEE! OH HEY!
IS THAT MY TOWEL ON THE BENCH? ARE YOU GOING TO WIPE MY FEET OFF AGAIN? I DIDN'T THINK THE GRASS WAS THAT WET! AND I ONLY WALKED A LITTLE IN THE MUD AROUND THE KELLEY'S DRAIN. OH, OKAY...IF YOU'RE GOING TO SCRATCH MY STOMACH WHILE YOU DRY MY FEET, IT'S OKAY. A LITTLE TO LEFT. AAH! SCRATCH SCRATCH SCRATCH. AND BACK IN THE DOOR AND HEY!

THAT'S MY BED! SEE HOW WELL I MESSED IT UP! WOW, I'M TIRED ALL OF A SUDDEN. I'M ALREADY LEANING TO THE RIGHT! I THINK I'LL JUST TAKE A LITTLE NAP UNTIL YOU FILL UP MY DINNER BOWL. YAWN. I LET YOU DOWNLOAD THE PICTURES I TOOK WHILE I DREAM OF PUTTING ANIMALS IN MY MOUTH. OR MAYBE A LITTLE YOGURT...EXCEPT NOBODY KNOWS I REALLY LIKE YOGURT.

27 comments:

  1. Awesome! What a great "view" of Sally's world!

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  2. As a dog lover, and someone who has watched their dog grow old, and experience what Sally is, this post really touched me.

    Funny, slightly sad, optimistic and innocent - truly through a dog's eyes.

    I absolutely loved this post, well done. Sally deserves a meaty treat for her hard work.

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  3. wonderful, sally is as creative as you guys are. ode to Sally.

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  4. How random is that? I think its now the Butler, Bagman and Sally chronicles. What a beasutiful face, awwww. Way to go Sally, I wish my life was that simple and that I could take such good shots. More please!

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  5. Great job, Sally! The alligator was a nice surprise when my mouth was full of wine - gulp, slurp. hee,hee.

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  6. Only you BB, would put a dog poop on his blog....very well done Sally. What a clever girl!

    xxx

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  7. I really needed a little something to cheer me up this morning. Thank you so much Sally and Mark! Lindsay would have eaten the camera! In backyard ponds in Canada there are goldfish, tiny turtles and perhaps a frog. The alligator put me away! Stories about doggies always have to start with a squirrel though...... it was a brilliant shootout Sally! Look out Ron Howard, here comes Sally! ((((DOGGIE HUGS))))

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  8. Is that a screened porch just like in the movies?

    Is it? I loved the pond too....just lovely Sally!!

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  9. Jesus-tap-dancin-Christ Sally......that alligator scared me to death almost!! You're a beautiful girl and you've done a fabulous job on your first Friday Shoot-Out!!
    You deserve a big treat for this darling girl!!

    Steady On
    Reggie Girl

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  10. Hi Sally,

    I have nominated you for best director...
    best cinematography...
    best screenwriting...
    and best poop...
    of the year...

    Happy days

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  11. Sally you are a sweetie! and you take such wonderful and creative shots! did you take a camera class?

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  12. Funny, charming, and original. All the good stuff. Bet you make everyone else jealous.

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  13. That was funny, I felt being a dog while reading your blog hahaha. GReat job....Sally :-) Nice shots and you captured the real things in the eyes of a dog.

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  14. I have to agree with Tabor, this post IS going to make everyone else involved in the shoot outs jealous. It is original, entertaining, and just dog-gone good!! Give a hug to Sally from me from way over here, she is delightful, and I for one think that the poop picture is a hoot!! Do you know that germany actually has special Poop-trucks that ride around in the parks here sucking up all the messes that dogs (and perhaps even their owners) have left behind! I was amazed when I read how many tons of poo those trucks pick up in one year's time! Right along with Patty, this post wins hands-down for originality!! Terrific job. you have me smiling over here until my jaws ache. Debby

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  15. Sally is a sweetheart and this was so cute. Such originality and sure to bring a smile to everyone's face.

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  16. I don't know about making everyone jealous because I get envious myself of some of the incredible photos and blogs y'all do...but I am honored to have been given the best poop of the year award...and I'd like to thank the academy, all the people who supported me through the years, etc. etc.

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  17. Dang that Sally is good!
    I wonder if I could get my 25lb. lazy cat to take my pictures next week. I know he couldn't out do Sally, great post.

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  18. Wow, Sally takes the best pictures and I love her commentary!!

    (Good thing she didn't go to the end of the pond, yikes!!)

    :D

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  19. I guess I should send Sally some dog biscuits, or some soft shell crabs. Crabby was very excited to see a post from his point of view.

    Sally and Crabby should have their own blog, but until we teach them how to use the computer, that is not going to happen. Jeppers! We hardly have time to do our own.

    Tell Sally my favorites are the steps and the bed. She did a great job on the composition on the steps, and she made the bed look so homey.

    "What?"

    Oh, Crabby just told me his favorite is the water shot without the "monster" (he has never an alligator). He also says he is in love with Sally.

    Tell Barclay we have the bed turned down and the lights turned on.

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  20. good grief charlie brown - Sally you get my vote for the best random shoot-out. I wouldn't tell B&B though they may not ever let you take the camera out again.

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  21. Sally, you did a wonderful job. It was so nice seeing your world... except the poop.

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  22. I came back twice Mark, cause I couldn't believe this the first time! You out did your water theme and I didn't think that was possible.

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  23. That wasn't a toad in your grass. That was my mother-in-law. She must be lost again!
    Just kidding I love my M-in-L.
    (most of the time)

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