Yesterday, I was browsing blogger and saw a blog by Miles at "Thunder from a Quiet Storm" where he was commenting in frustration at the latest Avatar gossip -- that the movie has an underlying message of racism.
I had already heard people call it an anti-war, anti-establishment, anti-military movie! I was shaking my head in confusion when Bagman and Butler stumbled sleepily into the office we share.
"It's cold outside," Butler commented, putting another log in the fireplace. This surprised me because I wasn't aware that we had a fireplace.
"Have you guys heard all this stuff going around about Avatar's political agendas?"
BUTLER: "Absolutely! And we've bee researching it. It's true. It's all propaganda."
BAGMAN (who looks particularly rough in the morning, rolls his head and roars) "Global Warming is a myth!"
BUTLER (quietly): "Don't pay attention. His theory about the movie's politics is a bit odd. But it is clearly against corporate profits and capitalism. What kind of a name is Parker Selfridge anyway?"
BAGMAN: "The DWEEB!"
I was wondering how I had missed so much while enjoying the graphics. But I'm not too dumb and, being in the addiction treatment business, an idea struck me. "How about the subtle message about caffeine
BAGMAN (roaring again, like some demented lion): "Al Gore!"
BUTLER (ignoring him): "I'm not sure, Mark. I know it made me nervous because I kept expecting Colonel Quaritch to spill that coffee cup standing up in the airship all the time. I thought he should have a saucer at least. But the nicotine thing and Sigorney Weaver wasn't even subtle."
"But she was one of the good guys," I suggested. And she didn't look half bad with a cigarette in her mouth."
BUTLER: "But it killed her."
BAGMAN: "Did not! She was shot!"
BUTLER: "In the chest, duh! And when the Na'vi tried to save her soul they couldn't because they said she was already too sick!"
By now, I was thoroughly confused because I had missed all of it while I was just enjoying the movie.
BAGMAN: "And those pornographic tails! I want one."
BUTLER: "They weren't pornographic. They just bonded with all the animals which I'm convinced was a theme that was diabolically included by PETA and the Vegan be nice to animals contingent."
BAGMAN: "Global Warming! Al Gore!" Then suddenly he fell asleep, which Bagman sometimes does when he has had a rough night.
"What's that about?" I whispered to Butler.
BUTLER: "Bagman thinks that the floating mountains were put in there by people who deny Global Warning as an attempt to prove that gravity doesn't really exist either."
BAGMAN (muttering in his sleep) "Man never landed on the moon. It was all a hoax."
By now I had had enough. I liked the movie and that was that. I stood up from my desk, put down the cigarette which had mysteriously appeared in my hand, and took at step toward the door and found myself floating up to the ceiling. For just a moment I considered the possibility that global warming was a hoax or that I should become a vegetarian. I'm so confused.