Monday, March 8, 2010

Chatting with Butler and Bagman

I had a meeting.  I was running late.  I rushed into the workroom, still dressed in my workclothes although I had divested my tie in the car on the way home.  I hit the start button on the computer and nothing happened. 

I looked up and saw that Bagman and Butler were just staring at me with that expression I know so well.  At least Bagman had that expression -- half laughing, half angry, half curious to see my reaction.  (Yes, I know that adds up to 150%).  Butler hardly ever has any expression.  But I could tell it had something to do with my computer.  "Very funny, very funny.  You want to log me back onto the nework now?"

BAGMAN (grinning toothily):  "Sorry, Jack, you've been shut off."
BUTLER (nodding gravely): "We voted." 

There was a long silence followed by a longer silence although to be honest there was nothing in between the two silences so it might have actually been one very long silence.  Long enough, anyway so that I knew I would have to break it.  So I did.  "Care to tell me why?"

BAGMAN:  "Because we've been watching you!  Running here, running there...working, trying to be everywhere at once. We know you!!"

BUTLER: "It was my idea to shut you off.  We both knew you were overdue..."

"For what?"  I said.  "Overdue for what?"

BAGMAN:  "For one of your big whineys!"

BUTLER:  "I don't know about the people who follow you, but Bagman and I are really tired of listening to you complain about not being able to blog or read other people's blogs."

"That's not fair!  I don't whine that much," I whined.  "Besides, I've been reading blogs."

BUTLER: "You read a grand total of five this morning and three of them you just skimmed."

"But I was busy!  I only had an hour before work and I had photos to download and I had to write a letter and..."   I stopped and thought a minute.  Bagman and Butler were just staring at me.  "I'm whining aren't I?"  

They both nodded their heads. 

"So are you going to let me post a blog today or not?"

BAGMAN:  "Not a chance, Jack!"

I shrugged and went back upstairs to work on my taxes.  Just before I closed the door, I heard Butler asking Bagman a question.

BUTLER: "Why are you calling him Jack?"


  1. No!! No!! I didn't say that! Butler did. Although he is very perceptive, he doesn't know how fast I can read! I just looks like skimming!