Thursday, February 11, 2010

Friday Shootout -- Aquariums (A love story)

I'm looking in the mirror and thinking that I'm one ugly sucker before I have my coffee when Bagman suddenly bursts in, already wearing swimming trunks, and shouting,  "Holy Mackerel!!  It's time for the aquarium shootout! Come on, Fishlips, Let's dive in!"

Perched on a nearby stool, Butler grunts, in his most snapperish tone, "Well, wahoo to you too."

And me?  I always sing a tune a day to add a ray of sunshine in the world, and this morning, just for the halibut, I'm singing an old Arlo Gutherie song:   "I don't want a pickerel...just want to ride on my motercyckeral."

BUTLER:  "Maybe I'm getting hard of herring, but motorcycle doesn't rhyme with pickerel."

Tired of Butler's constant carping, I argue, "Motorcycle doesn't rhyme with pickel either but, Arlo Guthrie sold lots of records with it."   But Bagman is insistant and we've run out of puns so we pile like sardines into our small environmentally friendly electric car that we've recently built out of  recycled batteries and electric eels and we're off...

"Excuse me miss but the Charleston Aquarium is that way..."

Our aquarium is not huge but it draws a crowd.

Grandpa is a facinating and entertaining tour guide

Well, at least somebody stayed awake to smile at my egocentric cleverness. 

Yes, I do seem to be more focused on myself here

Then rising, seductively, out of the depths comes a fish that finds
my header picture today to be irresistably attractive.

Kiss me, handsome!

Excited and seduced by her beauty, I dive in!
But before I take the bait...

Karen is there to stop me from my rather fishy daliance.
and reminds me that I may be a sucker for ogling that piece of tail,
and on the overall scale of things....

fooling around...

could get me stung...and I already have

a whale of a marriage.

So like a fish out of water, I wiggle back up the path to home.

And yet, I can't help but pine,  just a little,
 for the lovely-lipped carp 
 who flirted with me at the aquarium.

But I don't really think the water is bluer
on the other side of the glass.


  1. Laughing my bass off at one ugly sucker!

    (PS I can't believe you were lucky enough to capture that whale breeching at that angle. Holy catfish!)

  2. Ahh, the punishment, the punishment! Reminds me of that Kip Adotta Song, "Wet Dream"!

  3. Before I embarrass myself laughing....what sort of un-ugly sucker are you after coffee? Are we expected to judge by your new header? Love the kiss me, handsome shot. Might have to frame that one! Terrific post!!

  4. Well done! .... 'tune a day to add a ray'! I'm sure you have slipped many fishy words in there that I missed. Did enjoy the ones I caught.

  5. Great photo editing! You're clever and funny as always - thanks for the laugh, Mark.

  6. That stingray look so yummy! pardon me, I just cook a spicy dish of stingray today amd I just love to eat them.

  7. Wow, B&B found your look alike. They say we all have one. I enjoyed your tomfoolery as usual. We have one very nice public aquarium in Newport, Cincinnati Area, but too snowy for me to get up there these days.

  8. jeez I laughed so hard at the header photo that Camillo, two stories above me, ask me what is so funny.... I loved it all... the whale shot is incredible.

  9. The header is funny but the post takes the cake. I am not nearly that clever with words. My fave shot is that first one. How cute.

  10. The Award for funniest Aquarium post goes to...the creature from the black lagoon! I have no other words, because I am laughing to damn hard...

    You are my new much creative wit, I could never compare, only strive and learn...

  11. You took your mask off, Mark!! Put it back on!! Put it back on!! I bow to your excellence! Great post.

  12. Fins to the left, fins to the right. . .

  13. Stay away from those carps; they will haunt you in your dreams.

    Lovely photos. And they so warm my cold bones. I am just now thawing out from my last shoot.

  14. I forgot to say they are doing a remake of the movie Creature from the Black Lagoon. You should try out for the part.

  15. yikes!!! When I saw your header photo. I thought the Queen of the underwater world had captured you for her husband.

    Great photoshop.

  16. We go to the Shedd Aquarium in Chicago. Love it! Great pictures!

  17. Great post and pictures--highly entertaining!

  18. I can't believe I haven't commented on this. It was so hilariously funny I passed it over to Linda to read and then we got talking and laughing over your header and now I find I forgot to leave a comment.

    So let just me say, this was as much fun to read the second time around.

  19. Brilliant post!!! Love the whale :)

  20. Too funny! The whale picture...breathtaking!