Tuesday, February 16, 2010

New evidence that prehistoric man used paint

Yesterday was Presidents' day in the United States.   It is a holiday that used be called Washington's Birthday until the ongoing avalanche of political correctness in America rolled over it and we decided that it discriminated against other presidents. 

In 1880 it was actually held on Washington's Birthday (February 22).  But in 1971 -- when Congress  apparently had little else to debate and people wanted Holidays to always fall on Mondays (except for Thanksgiving and Christmas) -- they declared it would always fall on the third Monday in February.  This means that it can fall anytime between February 15 and February 21.  A brilliant move since it will never fall on Washington's actual birthday. 

But some states wanted to honor other presidents.  Massachusetts used it to also celebrate John Adams, John Quincy Adams, Calvin Cooledge, and John Kennedy, because they were born in Massachusetts.  Well, to be really truthful, Calvin Cooledge was not born in Massachusetts but spend most of his political career there.  And George Bush was actually born in Massachusetts but spent most of his political life elsewhere.  So it's really more like "Presidents We Like Day."  

And in Arkansas it's called "George Washington and Daisy Gadson Bates Day." 

And nobody really knows whether it is spelled Presidents Day or Presidents' Day.

This year, we celebrated it as "Mark Should Paint the Stairs Day," which meant that I didn't get to celebrate it at all. 

But by the end of the afternoon, decorated from head to foot with Oyster Shell speckles and drips, I looked down from the ladder and made one of the century's great archeological discoveries!



This prehistoric can painting is still being studied by archeologists who hope to extract DNA, but most experts think that it indicates early hominids with knowledge of Chinese Calligraphy crossing the Bering Strait in late Winter at the beginning of the Spring Thaw.  There is much contemporary debated about the small creature being attended to by the larger figure in the middle.  If the prehistoric paint tribes did bring penquins to the North American Continent, why is there no record of this?   

BUTLER: "Too may paint fumes, Mark.  Take an aspirin and go back to bed."    

11 comments:

  1. Wasn't the third Monday thing because of Lincoln, born on the 12th? That way you get a neat compromise with a holiday between the two Great Presidential Birthdays without actually favoring either of them.

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  2. "...most experts think that it indicates early hominids with knowledge of Chinese Calligraphy crossing the Bering Strait in late Winter at the beginning of the Spring Thaw."

    Strange, I'm not an expert but that is exactly what I was going to say.

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  3. I wish I could have you paint a room in my house as you have way more fun than I ever had!

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  4. "There is much contemporary debated about the small creature being attended to by the larger figure in the middle."

    It's like a Rorschash blot in a paint can! I see adult figures leaning over to attend to smaller figures too - and in more than one of the little groupings.

    You do make painting an adventure!

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  5. I think that has great merit. Submit it for the annual "What Do You Think This Means?" contest. I bet it gets confirmed. That is held by Mad Mag.
    QMM

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  6. I agree , Looks like a Rorschash .
    But QMM has a great idea that sounds like a fun thing.

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  7. did you check your hair and arms for possible new star clusters? when you are on a high you shouldn't limit your imagination so much.

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  8. Thank you for visiting my blog. It is always nice to hear from you. Yes, more works are coming with fewer people. Luckily I will be retiring in July!

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  9. Very rare find. I would tell you what I see in the images but then you would have to censor my post.

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  10. I love your humour. I hereby christen you 'Tangent Man'.

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