Thursday, April 2, 2009


Tomorrow is the photo shoot out – animals edition. It is also the day my wife and I go to Hilton Head for a week. There is supposed to be wireless internet there but I suspect my postings will be sparse. I have discovered the scheduling tool on Blogspot…so there will be at least a couple of already scheduled surprises. But live commentary will probably be non-existent.

I will really miss that because I have come to love you all. Even the men. Now don’t get all homophobic on me, please. Not in that way.

That way. There are just so many ways to love. In fact, I think that there are as many different ways to love as there are people. Sure there are some common groupings of love – brotherly love, paternal love, loving human kindness, sexual love, etc. But each person I get to know is unique. And there have been very few – if any -- people that did not have something loveable about them.

Kahlil Gibran wrote (I think I saw this on Sylvia’s blog – I love her for always looking at the sky and quoting Gibran): “Love does not possess.” I liked that quote. I have always been surprised at how much possessiveness seems to attach to some kinds of love – romantic love, marital love. Although maybe that has more to do with the need for stability in a family in order for love to deepen and built, for children to be safe. And yet it still seems that stability should result from love instead of being demanded as a requirement of love. Such an idealist!

If I take my time, my resources, my attention away from someone I love in order to spend them on someone else, I can certainly see that as a problem. But love, itself, is more like energy, I think. Like exercise, the more you do, the larger it grows.

And love changes over time. I love my wife more now than I did 23 years ago. Let me amend that. I know she would like to think it is “more” but it is probably just “differently.” Deeper, broader, stronger, but less intense.

Love is like an ocean with a million currents. Altruistic love, courageous love, manipulative love (hmm...maybe not), courtly love, hopeless love, self love. Love, like gratitude, is exercise. Use it or lose it.

These days, I’m also rediscovering paternal love with my son. And grand-paternal love with Conner and paternal-in-law love with Melody. So many different kinds of love.

And before I head out on vacation, I want to acknowledge blogger love. I didn’t know much about that when I started this a few months ago. But it is real, and strong, and not just the “Bagman Flirts with Girls” fun either – although I admit that does get my heart rate up. I’ve been surprised how powerfully I feel about Barry. And then there’s…

No. I don’t think I’ll start listing each and every one of you and what it is about your blogs, your words, your pictures, your passions, your selves, that I love. If I tried to do that, I’d either leave out people that I’d remember later and feel badly, or turn this blog into something that read like the New York City phone book.

Anyhow, this morning I just felt like tellingl you all how much I love you.

BAGMAN: “For God's sake! STOP! Way to mushy! You sound like a complete sap.”

BUTLER: “Oddly enough, I think this is one of the first times I have to agree with Bagman. You do sound rather dingy.”

Fine then! You’ll both have to ride in the back seat all the way to Hilton Head after I schedule tomorrow’s animal shootout for posting.

BAGMAN: “Then I’m going to schedule one too! And it will be a whole lot more interesting than this syrupy crap!”


  1. I LOVE your blog! I LOVE you guys!
    Excellent post!!!
    Enjoy your time away!

  2. Kahil Gibran spoke wise words. 'The Prophet' has become my 'Bible' over the years.
    'Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself'
    'Love possesses not nor would it be possessed; for love is sufficient unto love'
    I fall in love with everyone I meet, it's something about the way they have feet, that always leaves ink blotches across my words!(BTW thats not Kahil Gibran, that's me!)

  3. By wildlife, I took photos of shrubs, plants, trees sprouting here and there. No animals, unluckily. Just the usual dogs and cats LOL. We don't have forests in here, unfortunately.

  4. Oh B& secretly posted this for me didn't you? How "ironical" that my post is about love as well (wink, wink). We all three must have been reading each other's mind.
    I too love all my blogger pals. Like you, I had no idea how many friends I would meet and how attached we can become to people that we've never met in the flesh. When we comment on posts, many things shine strength, empathy, understanding, a lil well intentioned flirting..... Amazing no?
    I love Kahil Gibran and I thank you for the reminder. Thank you for always speaking of your bride with such love and tenderness.
    See??? I can be serious.
    But call me when you get a "free" minute....seriously dude......

    Steady On
    Reggie Girl

  5. Yeah, you.

    Have a great vacation.

    You're not mushy. You sound like John Lennon.

    All you need is love.
    All you need is love.
    All you need is love, love,
    Love is all you need.

  6. I told you you are a sweetheart!

    Kahil Gibrahn is indeed a prophet.

    You are well loved too BB xxxxxxxxx

  7. How sweet!! Enjoy your vacation! By the way, I can't join you for tomorrow's shootout, I can't find any wild animals here hehehe. I live in a city in the middle of rice fields hahaha

  8. Awww BB...I love you too! And I have to admit to having a crush on Bagman. He's so much my kind of guy!!! Have a wonderful trip!!!

  9. I love you too Mark. I love your blog and I even love Bagman!

    Enjoy your time away!

  10. We like muschy stuff - we love you all too. Have a great week. What's Bagman up to when you are gone? I am guessing trouble of some kind - you better password protect your blog.

  11. Since I just moved into the neighborhood...

    1. Reggie shared her family photos
    2. I found out there's a city in georgia not named Atlanta
    3. Someone mentioned lovely Sylvia K.
    4. Kahil is recognized and highly thought of
    5. B&B has broached the subject of Man Love

    You guys are very emotional beings...and that's cool!

    B&B have a great vacation with the Mrs in the SC.


  12. A beautiful post and I feel exactly the same way about the people I have met since I began blogging a year ago in July. I never realized you could become so close to people you've never seen or met other than online. I can't even begin to tell you what an incredible experience it has been. I was at a very difficult stage in my life a year ago and a friend started prodding me to start blogging. Almost shrugged it off, but then got curious and began and I haven't been the same since -- in a very beautiful way and I've surely never felt more love.

    Have a wonderful vacation! Want to hear all about it when you return!

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  14. I am very much attending the love fest - Tomorrow in fact - I was not swayed by this post, nor the beauty of Butler and his words and pictures, nor even the advent (at least for me) of bold Bagman, but by the fact that I am returning to full-time work and shan't be able to blog and read as much as I have been...

    That has filled me with great sadness, but also much love, as you say here, the multifarious, use it or lose it, strands of love that exist here in the Ether...

    Love the one you're with... My favourite lyrics ever... Have a great journey, Sir...

  15. M, B&B, I love all three of you as well. And now that I've typed it, it does seem a bit reminiscent of the holy trinity, no? 3 peas in a pod? The faces of Eve perhaps...

  16. you, and your invisible buddies, and your blog are all loved! can't ya feel the fuzziness?! oh well, perhaps that is my brain- I'm still half asleep today! lol...have a super vacation!

  17. "I won't be your Yoko Ono if you're not good to me."

    Leaving? Dang!

    Where do you keep your little red car while you are away?

    We do not expect this to be a fruitless vacation. We expect some colorful stories when you return.

    We all love all ya'll!

  18. I will be on Hilton Head the last week of
    April...would have been watching that beach for the three (four) of you if your schedule had linked up with ours! Blogger love is most unexpected, isn't it?

  19. new blog layout was easy as can be. You find a blog background, cut and paste into a new gadget in your layout, and voila! A new blog layout. And I made the header out of a picture from Photofunia! Seriously, I spent about a half hour on it all. And no, there was no Blogger upgrade necessary. I pay for nothing!!

  20. I didn't expect to love blogging so much either before I became an actual blogger. What was the big deal? I wondered. It sounded weird, creepy even, like posting one's personal diary up for everyone to read. And isolating. Thank goodness I gave it a try and proved my misconceptions wrong. I love how it introduces us to people we might never meet in our daily lives, people we get to know and, now and then, care for. It's reminded me how connected we really are, how every person we come across is a potential friend.

  21. I love you right back (I know he ..or should I say they) were meaning me really.

    My blog today also has a little love in it AND I'm going away as well.

    Perhaps an across the world asignation?

    I won't be bloggin whilst I'm away taking a computer break.

    Bon voyage to you and your lovely wife.

    Sarah Lulu

  22. #23 - this is what I get for working today instead of running down through my list of followers sooner -everything that could be said has been. I not a lovey type anyway - its there, of course, just hidden under the crust. Have a good - fun - loving trip.

  23. Have a wonderful vacation! And your sentiments regarding your wife are so sweet, I hope my husband says the same of me 23 years from now!

  24. I wonder why many bloggers talk about love these days.. you, Reggie and some more.. is it
    valentines yet..? hmmnn yeah i know, love comes anytime, in many form and it exists even
    in an unfriendly places.. even in war torn countries or places where prejudiced arises.
    i love to love and that's how me and my family exists. ours not only contained in our
    home, we exert love in everything we do, everyone we meet and all the people, things and memories that comes our way. although the genre and its level varies, the importatnt
    thing is the feeling of love and being loved is always there. sometimes, because we love
    so much, some negative entities tend to misunderstand and abuse it.. some even tried to question it. but we don't worry, love conquers it all.. :)

    i guess i love you more than before my friend.. why? because you're such a good love
    provider to your family, friends and to us, your blogger friends.


  25. As they say in the title of that new film, "I love you, man." Some free advise for ya: leave the laptop at home and enjoy some downtime, away from the cyber-grind.